Desperately Seeking Tea Bags

Do you ever have those weeks when everything seems to happen at once? Yeah, me too. This week has been one of them.

For once, it's not been the result of a self-induced procrastination crisis: I've just been busy. I love my job- I wouldn't do it if I didn't- but this week I have been suffering from a serious lack of "me time". And tea bags...

The "me time" issue I can deal with as sensibly as any other full-time worker would (i.e. sulk a bit, man up and get over it, then make up for it at the weekend by staying in pyjamas and reading books on the sofa) but the tea thing... this is a little hard to bear.

Circumstances have contrived to coordinate running low on tea bags with a succession of necessary late nights. Each day, I have watched the contents of my shiny silver tea caddy recede until they threatened to reach previously-unknown low levels. Each morning, I have rationed myself to only one teabag to make the required two cups I must consume before I can consider leaving the house. Each day, I have vowed to rectify this by going to the shop on my way home and stocking up before the caddy is empty. And, each day, by the time I've left work and am halfway home, I decide I simply don't have the energy to drive the extra (pathetically small) distance to fight my way around the aisles for a box of Tesco's finest. Instead, I've gone home and vowed to make my tea last until the weekend by squeezing each bag to within an inch of its life.

It's played havoc with my body clock. My nervous system doesn't even register that I'm upright until the first cup. I can stumble downstairs and put the kettle on without even opening my eyes. The second cup is a vital requirement before I dare step outside my door and face the world. My weak-tea-ration crisis has resulted in serious blurry eyes and grumpy demeanour first thing in the morning. I don't expect sympathy (which goes better with tea anyway) and I'm fully aware that my tea drought is a first-world problem. I'm sharing this just to warn people that tomorrow may be a tough day.

The tea is gone.

Yes, that's right: I used the last tea bag this morning. It wasn't even worth another squeeze. No amount of CPR is going to bring this bag back to life. I have to face up to the sure and certain knowledge that I will be going to work tomorrow having not had two cups of tea. I know. I'm scared too.

I can't be sure I will function properly without my caffeine-alarm clock. My morning routine will be ruined. I would worry about my ability to even dress myself, were it not for the fact that I am going to work in my leopard-print onesie (for Children in Need, not as a fashion or political statement). I can't guarantee the safety of those around me. Luckily, I know we have tea at work and so am hopeful that normal service will be resumed by the time I have to talk to children. Until then, I strongly recommend that I be approached with caution until I have raided the work supplies and restored my caffeine levels to an acceptable standard. I say this for your own good- stay away from the rabid-leopard-print-clad-crazy-lady who will be roaming the back-roads of Lincolnshire tomorrow morning...

...oh, I know I said I wasn't expecting any sympathy but, to top it off, I'll also have to stop for petrol. In my onesie. I'll leave you with that mental image.