Do you remember that game we used to play- "I've Never Ever..."?
The idea (for those who have led sheltered lives) was to get drunk and embarrass your friends by outing their darkest secrets. For example, "I've never ever snogged (insert name of geek here) at the school disco when I was thirteen" would ensure my friend had to knock back a shot but I didn't. Much hilarity, and possibly a passive-aggressive revenge for eating the last Rolo.I don't consider myself to have lead a sheltered life by any means; I've travelled to some awesome places and done some amazing things- I've got some good stories to tell! Yet there are still some "common experiences" I have yet to experience. I bet you've done at least three of the things on my "Never Ever" list.
Line up the shots and read on...
1. I've Never Ever lost my mobile phone.
Not once. Not even during drunken student pub-crawls along the infamous Mumbles Mile, or after crowd-surfing at gigs. I thought I'd lost my phone once, but I rang it and tracked it down to under a cushion on the sofa. My ringtone at the time was the theme from "Jaws", which added a sense of urgency, but seeing as I was only ever a few metres from it, I don't think that counts as losing it.
2. I've Never Ever camped at a festival.
For someone who loves camping, drinking and music, even I'm a bit surprised at this. My only explanation is the extortionate ticket prices and dodgy toilet facilities. I'm more of a glamper, and I like to shower.3. I've Never Ever had a pet rabbit.
Cats? Yes. Dogs? Yes. Mice? Fish? Guinea pigs? Yes. yes and yes. But never a rabbit. I had a friend at school who had housetrained her rabbit to poo in a litter tray, which I thought was cool, but I never had a bunny of my own. I can't have one now as my terriers would eat it for certain.
4. I've Never Ever been to America.
I'm not even sure I want to. I don't know why not. It's not them, it's me.
5. I've Never Ever seen a Star Wars film. Ever.
Despite the many efforts of friends and family to sit me down and make me appreciate what I'm sure are a franchise of wonderful films, I've not succumbed so far. The closest I got was at Uni, where I lasted about twenty minutes before my constant questions annoyed everyone so much I was banished from the room. I'll try again, one day.
Does this count?
ReplyDeleteI left mine at someone's house. They said it wasn't there so I bought a new one. Eight months later it turned up behind their sofa...
Oh dear! Lost AND found might be two shots ; )
DeleteI have never owned a rabbit - not sure why but there you go. I have to say, I've never seen any of the Alien films either, keep meaning to, never get round to it. I have camped at a festival though, and planning on doing it again this summer at Reading ...
ReplyDeleteCan I have your Top Tips for surviving festivals? I might give it a go before I get too old...
DeleteI did a shot for seeing the Alien films btw x
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